Shattering the 'How' and Celebrating the 'Why'

Rediscovering Your Path

Read Time: 7 minutes

Hey there, Hunni Buns and Lovebugs! 👋

Chile, gather 'round because today, we're diving into the tricky waters of the "How" trap - you know, that sneaky little pitfall where we get so caught up in the "how" of doing things that we forget the "what" and "why" we're doing them in the first place! Listen up, 'cause this one's a game-changer!

But before we go there, for those who might be new here, let me re-introduce myself. I'm Demi Austin Thomas, your guide and confidante on this exhilarating path. I am a Family Dynamics Coach, a former TV correspondent, and a passionate speaker. 

My life's mission? To navigate you through the beautiful yet complex world of modern relationships. Are you ready to redefine, reconnect, and reignite the spark in your life? I wasn’t ready either, but let’s go! 

The "How" Trap: A Slippery Slope

Welcome to our ninth day of 2024, and with it, our ninth heart-to-heart in our 'Woman Redefined' series. When the seed of 'Woman Redefined' first sprouted in my mind, I didn't envision just a newsletter. Oh no, honey, I dreamed of a sisterhood, a gathering space where I could lay bare my own rollercoaster ride - the ups, the downs, and those 'whoo chile' moments that leave you breathless. More than that, I yearned for a place where other phenomenal women could come, unburden their hearts, and share their journeys.

Admittedly, the 'how' of it all had me in a twist. Questions circled like hawks in my mind: How would I bring this vision to life? Who would join me in this crusade? Was I even the right person to spearhead this – did I possess enough wisdom, enough know-how? Yet, this dream, this burning aspiration, was too vibrant, too palpable to be shelved. It clung to my spirit, refusing to be ignored, and here we are, nine days into the new year, making magic happen together.

Now, boo, let's be real. We all have those grand dreams and goals, right? But here’s the thing: sometimes we get so tangled up in figuring out how to make things happen that we end up running around like headless chickens! 🐔 And guess what? That's when the self-doubt and anxiety creep in.

1. The Paralysis of Analysis

Picture this: You're so fixated on finding the perfect way to do something that you end up doing... absolutely nothing. Hunni, it's like wanting to start a diet and spending all day checking out recipes but never actually cooking anything. How many bookmarks of recipes do you have? Sound familiar?

2. Missing the Forest for the Trees

Now, here’s the kicker: Focusing too much on the "how" can make us lose sight of our actual goals. It’s like obsessing over the perfect running shoes when you just need to get out there and jog, boo!

3. The Joy Thief

Let's not even get started on how this "how" obsession can suck the joy right out of our lives. Remember when you started that hobby you loved and then got bogged down in the nitty-gritty? Yep, joy thief, right there!

Flipping the Script: Focus on the "What" and "Why"

So, how do we hop off this hamster wheel? How do we get away from the culture of hustling? It's all about shifting our focus, lovebugs.

1. Clarity is Key

First things first, get clear on your what and why. What is your goal? Why does it matter to you? Write it down, sing it out, do a little dance - whatever helps you remember!

2. Baby Steps, Boo

Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are dreams. Take small, manageable steps towards your goal. And hey, if you stumble, no sweat! Just get back up and sashay forward.

3. Enjoy the Ride

Hunni, life's too short not to enjoy the journey. So, find joy in the little things along the way. If you're starting a business, celebrate the small wins. Got your first subscriber? Throw a mini dance party! 🎉

4. Seek Support, Not Perfection

You don't have to go it alone. Lean on your tribe, your squad, your cat – whoever gets you. And remember, perfection is a myth, like calorie-free chocolate cake.

Wrapping Up: Keep It Light, Keep It Bright

Whew! Did you make it to the end? Yes, love! Let's not get lost in the "how" and forget to actually do. Keep your eyes on the prize, take it one step at a time, and don't forget to laugh along the way. Because, at the end of the day, it's not just about reaching that goal; it's about loving the journey that gets you there!

Keep redefining!

Hearts and Sparks,

Demi 💖

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